18 Monkeys Dead In A Pool

This could be the greatest news story I’ve ever read. What in God’s name is going on here? It’s from today’s Indian Express and it’s so good that I’ve copied it out in full:

A Monkey Act Altogether

A day after 18 monkeys were found dead in a swimming pool in North Bengal, forest officials were alerted by Army officers about some “suspicious behaviour” of the monkeys. The forest department officials rushed to the spot to observe the “suspicious behaviour” so that it could shed some light on the primates’ deaths. But after spending nearly a whole day staring at the monkeys, which were hopping from one tree branch to another, the forest officials concluded that there was nothing “suspicious” in their behaviour.

So many questions.

Who killed the monkeys? What did the the officers observe? Why did the journalist feel the need to emphasise the fact that the monkeys were hopping from one branch to another? Why is the headline so shit? It has the makings of a terrific thriller…

To prove I didn’t make this up: http://www.indianexpress.com/news/kolkata-confidential/588161/3

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One response to “18 Monkeys Dead In A Pool

  1. I once had a bag of bananas stolen from me by a monkey in Shimla. The bugger grabbed it out of my hand. Maybe this was an internecine monkey mafia war.

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